In efforts to be transparent so that I am able to free people, I must share my story of FREEDOM. First, I must give my background on my journey that lead me to discovering Christ as the love of my life. In November of 1995 on a Sunday morning church service I accepted Him into my heart. It wasn't out of duty or a feeling that everybody is saved, so I must get "right". It was out of a pure pressing on my heart after being minister to. Before this moment I was highly involved with the choir, dance ministry, discipleship programs and I understood the aspect of acknowledging my religious duty. I was baptized that following month; excited, nervous and not really understanding what I was about to experience. Can I say that I had an encounter with him, not really. But I knew that I was devoted to him. Devoted to ministry and staying connected by being involved with the church was a key to that connection.
I craved hearing the word and being involved with the church. Most of the time it was because I had freedom to socialize with people because of overprotected parents but I still enjoyed my time at church. As I entered adolescence, I very much still had a heart for Him. I tried to do everything "perfectly". Obey my parents, teachers, try to lead by example to my peers. But in trying to be "perfect", I failed. I knew I wasn't. I submitted to my culture, it was a hard balance trying to live holy and be accepted by peers. For we all know that to pursue God, there will be costs. Yet I didn't understand how to have a good balance of how to effect my culture as a Christian. I had many religious examples of how to serve God, it wasn't until after college that I understood what it meant to have a RELATIONSHIP with GOD.
That HE was truly a friend, someone that understood everything about me. That's because He knew me before I was created that He would always see me through all my circumstances, joys and failures. While acknowledging my new found understanding of relationship vs. religion, I got serious and I was truly set on FIRE for HIM. Yet I developed a super duper Martha mindset. I thought works got me closer to Him, that by being apart of every ministry would show my love to Him. Thus I would be blessed. After working and working, I never seem to get the "blessings" that I was "working" so hard for.
Then in 2011, I was attacked. Some say mental breakdown, some say bi-polar, but He says SPIRITUAL WARFARE. It is truly my belief that Satan knows what I am capable of in the Kingdom of God and wants me to abort the seed that was place inside of me. After spending much needed time seeking Him during Thanksgiving break, I can say that God has begun to restore and revive the dreams that He gave me. After experiencing two years of depression, anxiety ,fear and suicidal thoughts I can say that I am coming out. The testimony is not complete but in progress. As we all know, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and our testimony. Therefore I too acknowledge Revelations 12:11 so that I may set others FREE.
Therefore the testimony is just beginning and in progress as I do my best to become a P-31 for the glory of the Kingdom of God.
Sincerely,
Tashika Denea' Smith
P-31 in Progress
Creative Visionary of Mirrored Images, Inc
"Reflecting His Image Into The World"-Gen. 1:27
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